Poems

I’m A Shopaholic!

The Little Mermaid

I’m a shopaholic and I don’t pretend to be anything else
Without qualms, I assert
A sadistic pleasure, a blissful ecstasy, a kind of magic shopping spells
Gosh! I’d do it like the dirtiest pervert;
Shopping evokes a lust for things you never knew you needed
The thrill of carrying those shiny new bags
Rhapsody unabated
Even with the high price tags.

Look at this purple dress! So elegant and pristine
Calling upon me to be released
From the ruthless vitrine
My favorites: Gucci, Topshop and Cholé, last but not the least;
Please don’t tell me that I have enough hats already
You might end up with a bleeding nose
The scent of brand Italian leather boots, so rich and yummy
Whee! I might buy all in the rows.

What is shopping? An activity, a hobby or an obligation?
If shopping were a crime, I’d plead guilty
If it were a season, it’d be spring’s invitation
If it were drugs, I’d be addicted. Pity!
If shopping were music, it’d be the sweetest duet
If it were a smell, it’d be of warm petrichor
If it were love, it’d be a tale of Romeo and Juliet
Only with an ending merrier.

Last week I got my fifth Versace sunnies at 30% off
Together with that gorgeous red Louis Vuitton belt
A sound investment I made, don’t you laugh
For a wise banker I am, correctly spelt;
Uh-oh! How could I forget this naughty Givenchy perfume?
A fragrance darn luxurious and irresistible
Not to mention that fur coat from Burberry as costume
A beautiful sin, utterly permissible.

I could never own too much of something
For once I set my eyes on them lovely black lingerie
My heart skips a beat, triumphing
In an instant moment of joyful celebratory;
Shopping is better than any cure
Yes! On watches and rings I spend galore
The mere thought of it makes me rub my hands in glee, for sure
But that’s what confessions are made for!

Bringing me closer to my doom
Winding up my day in town with an empty wallet
Credit cards turned into witch broom
When I want just another cute bonnet;
Admist this prodigality, happiness is but ephemeral
I could give up shopping
Yet it would not make me more liberal
Hey! Until then, to this craze there’s no stopping.


*Image is a still from the movie ‘Confessions of a Shopaholic’

Published by The Little Mermaid

24 thoughts on “I’m A Shopaholic!”

  2. This poem could be book-ended by a short verse from the Russian Futurist V. Khlebnikov, perhaps revisited as “the lament of the shopper” –
    My bag breaks
    and everything falls to the floor.
    It occurs to me
    the world is a grin that flickers
    on a hanged man’s dead face.
    Thanks for liking my blog, Side/Dishes (https://sidedishesblog.wordpress.com/) – I’ll be following your blog, too – you’ve got some very good material up here!!!
    -Jim

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  4. If shopping were a crime, I’d plead guilty
    If it were a season, it’d be spring’s invitation
    If it were drugs, I’d be addicted. Pity
    Ha ha such a nice way to express the addiction .. 🙂

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  6. Hahaha. As a member of “Shopaholic Anonymous Club” 😛 I can totally relate to this 😀 LoL I love that movie and needless to say Becky is my alter ego 😀 Actually she represents all of us 🙂 Loved this! Ah, the joys of splurging in a sale and finding that perfect fit <3

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  8. I wish my girlfriend enjoyed shopping for clothes; because, for me, I always enjoyed going and being part of that activity. I found it fun when my last girlfriends went shopping on 5th Ave in Manhattan — walking around, getting a hot dog, shopping, then having dinner. It was part of our bonding process cuz I got to share in their passion and interests.

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    1. You’re a rarity, man!! I wish there were more men like you. From my observation, only dads have such unwearied patience when it comes to shopping with their daughters. Haha! You’re awesome.

      Reply

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